The news that Westminster council could end standing at the bar or outside Soho pubs seems so far-fetched that I thought it was a joke, something straight out of a satirical magazine, like Private Eye or the Onion.

But apparently, it has recommended banning “vertical drinking” or ordering at the bar in a draft – that’s, sadly, not a misprint of “daft” – licensing policy. Like most people I prefer my drinking vertical and I usually leave horizontal drinking to the real pros among us.

Joking aside, I feel a lot of traditions are being slowly ruined by the homogenising power of globalisation, and Soho already feels less and less like the special place it once was with the multinationals moving in. I do still adore a lot of the inclusivity its pubs foster though, which is a real Soho tradition.

And drinking vertically (sometimes horizontally) outside London pubs is a tradition that makes people feel like they’re in the capital. I’ve spoken to many publicans who earn their living in other cities and it’s common for them to say their boozer is “busy, people outside after work, like in London”. It’s rare for London to be praised in Yorkshire. To be honest it’s rare for it to gain acclaim in Watford.

But as a professional contrarian (it’s a hard life) I do like to view every policy change from all angles, and I thought maybe this would make life easier for wheelchair users. So, I called on my good pal, Steven Fenn, who is a beer lover and has muscular atrophy type two, which means he is permanently reliant on a wheelchair (one that can be raised at a push of a button).

Surely Fenn, as his mates call him, would be pleased? His reply: “The new policy idea is a bit ridiculous and would make it more difficult for me to get around as more space would be taken up by the extra chairs and tables needed. Often when there are no free tables, I raise my chair up, and myself and the people I'm with share my [wheelchair] table and I'm fine with that, it's all part of the social experience.

“Especially in smaller pubs where tables are often crammed in, this makes it a lot more difficult for me to be seated with a group of four-plus people including myself to get around to a spot where I'm not blocking others from getting in or out.

“Also, in smaller venues, to get round to a seated area, I have to get people to move and sometimes the furniture. Those people are usually obliging but it is disruptive, especially if they're eating. This is avoided if people are standing because they can quickly move out of the way and then move back.”

He then tellingly concluded: “If this policy is brought in, it would also discourage me from doing a pub tour and once I’m in a spot that is difficult to get to, I'm not going to want to have to go through the experience of moving people and fitting into tight spaces multiple times in one night.”

Fenn is probably one of the best people to speak to about accessibility and he’s a fairly forgivable chap – I mean, he has to be as I’ve seen the ordeal he sometimes has to go through when he’s navigating a world created by able-bodied people.

And here’s the thing, it’s such a stupid policy idea that no one group would benefit from the change. I’m always up for radical solutions but I can’t even see the problem here that needs solving. Can you? The only thing it would mean is that diners in an expensive area of London will be favoured at the cost of diversity – not a great look for any council.